Kind Words

A downhearted truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. He asked the waitress for meat loaf and some kind words. She brought the meat loaf but didn't say anything.
"Hey," he said, "what about my kind words?"
"Don't eat the meat loaf," she replied.

Driving Instructions

The trucking company was desperate for new drivers, decided to hire driving instructor and provide driving lessons for new drivers free of charge. One day the driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another truck approached on a particular two-line training road. After a week of intensive training, they got to the same stretch of road, and the young driver remained completely calm.
"This time you're doing fine!" exclaimed the instructor.
"Yes," the novice driver agreed. "Now when I see another truck coming, I shut my eyes."

Delivery Room

My wife gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room," one trucker told another.
"It was so high tech that our baby girl came out cordless."

Rates

Walking into a lawyer's office, a truck driver asked what his rates were.
"Fifty dollars for three questions, " the lawyer stated.
"Isn't that awfully expensive?" the truck driver asked.
"Yes," the lawyer replied. "What's your third question?"

Final Exam

A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. When the class ended the students were given their final exam: strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynecologist did his best - and was amazed to find he scored 150%. "How could that be?" he asked.
"Well," said the instructor, "I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job, really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe."