Get Your Act Together

A police officer stops a blonde delivery truck driver for speeding and asks if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you took my license away and today you expect me to show it to you!"

Pulled Over

A truck driver with heavy load was driving below the speed limit on the interstate when a highway patrolman pulled him over.
"Do you know why I stopped you, mister?" asked the officer.
"Sure do," replied the truck driver. "I was the only one you could catch."

In Season

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying 'Nerds or Geeks Not Allowed -- Enter At Your Own Risk!' He goes in and sits down.
The bartender comes over to him. "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?"
"I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling."
"Okay, truck drivers are not nerds," he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.
"Why did you do that?"
"Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license."
The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, killing several of them instantly.
A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.
"What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season," says the truck driver.
"Well, sure," says the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em."

Special Delivery

A truck driver didn't notice the 'low bridge ahead' sign and gets stuck under the bridge. Eventually a police officer arrives. He says to the truck driver, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Family History

Two truck drivers were discussing their family histories when one of them lamented that he knew little about his roots.
"I've always wanted to have my family history traced," he said, but I can't afford to hire someone on truck driver salary. Any suggestions?"
"Sure," replied the other truck driver. "Run for a public office."